Previously on Sports Night
Casey
Hey, look at me. We've won awards
Dan
Ah, ah, you've won awards
Casey
You've won awards.
Dan
I haven't won awards.
Casey
You've been nominated for awards.
Dan
It's not the same thing.
Casey
Sure it is.
Dan
That's easy for you to say, you've won awards.
--Dear Louise
Dana
Dan got nominated for Sports Personality of the Year. You and he both got nominated for Sports Anchor of the Year and everyone knows you’re a shoo-in since Steve Sisko took half the year off last year.
--Lamony and the Laker Girls
Casey
Hey, look at me. We've won awards
Dan
Ah, ah, you've won awards
Casey
You've won awards.
Dan
I haven't won awards.
Casey
You've been nominated for awards.
Dan
It's not the same thing.
Casey
Sure it is.
Dan
That's easy for you to say, you've won awards.
--Dear Louise
Dana
Dan got nominated for Sports Personality of the Year. You and he both got nominated for Sports Anchor of the Year and everyone knows you’re a shoo-in since Steve Sisko took half the year off last year.
--Lamony and the Laker Girls
And the Nominees Are…
Episode 3.2
(Kim’s voice comes over the loudspeaker)
Five minutes to air. First team to the studio.
(Dan and Casey walk out of their office to the studio)
Dan
I’m not writing a speech. Are you writing a speech?
Casey
I am writing a speech and I think you should write one too.
Dan
I’m not writing one.
Casey
Is this the whole tempting fate thing?
Dan
Yes, Casey, this is the whole tempting fate thing (Casey rolls his eyes as Dan continues). You scoff, but fate is not kind to those who fly too close to the sun. Hubris, my friend. A little thing called hubris.
(They walk into the studio and Allison comes up to help them with makeup)
Casey
Allison, if I were you I would turn and run away now. Dan’s started in on Greek mythology.
Dan (smiling)
Icarus! (Looking straight into the camera) Jeremy! (Turning to Casey) Jeremy will be with me on this. (Looking back into the camera) Jeremy, tell Casey about Icarus.
Jeremy
What? All I heard was “Jeremy…Casey…us.” I think the mikes are broken.
Dana (staring at the monitors and clearly not focused on the control room)
What?
Kim
Does San Antonio have sound?
Dave
We’re getting there.
Jeremy
The mics are broken.
Dave
The mics in San Antonio?
Jeremy
No the mics here.
Natalie
Our mics are broken? (Speaking into her microphone) Hey, guys, wave if you can hear me!
(At the desk, Casey and Dan wave)
Natalie
The mics are fine. Preview animation.
Elliot
You’ve got it.
Natalie
That’s not right.
Jeremy
Not our mics. Their mics. In the studio. They’re cutting in and out.
Dana (staring at the monitor and speaking absently)
Mike Galveson? Yeah, he’s cutting in and out every time they’re on offense…he needs to…slow down…how hard is it to wait out the clock when…wait, what?
Jeremy
Actually, Dana, I’m pretty sure what’s on second.
Dana
Give me a break, Jeremy, I’ve been staring at the damn network feed for twenty-two minutes waiting for some indication as to whether we’re going on or holding for the end of this race.
Jeremy
Well, I certainly hope we’re holding because we don’t have any sound in the studio.
Dana (snapping out of her daze)
What? Oh! The mics are cutting in and out—I just got that—Chris! Will! What’s up with the mics? (She puts her headset on)
Will
We’re on it.
Dana (turning to Kim)
Kim, get me J.J. on the phone.
Natalie
This is getting ridiculous.
Dana
I know.
Natalie
They can’t check out already.
Dana
I know. But there’s not much I can do.
Dave
Episode 3.2
(Kim’s voice comes over the loudspeaker)
Five minutes to air. First team to the studio.
(Dan and Casey walk out of their office to the studio)
Dan
I’m not writing a speech. Are you writing a speech?
Casey
I am writing a speech and I think you should write one too.
Dan
I’m not writing one.
Casey
Is this the whole tempting fate thing?
Dan
Yes, Casey, this is the whole tempting fate thing (Casey rolls his eyes as Dan continues). You scoff, but fate is not kind to those who fly too close to the sun. Hubris, my friend. A little thing called hubris.
(They walk into the studio and Allison comes up to help them with makeup)
Casey
Allison, if I were you I would turn and run away now. Dan’s started in on Greek mythology.
Dan (smiling)
Icarus! (Looking straight into the camera) Jeremy! (Turning to Casey) Jeremy will be with me on this. (Looking back into the camera) Jeremy, tell Casey about Icarus.
Jeremy
What? All I heard was “Jeremy…Casey…us.” I think the mikes are broken.
Dana (staring at the monitors and clearly not focused on the control room)
What?
Kim
Does San Antonio have sound?
Dave
We’re getting there.
Jeremy
The mics are broken.
Dave
The mics in San Antonio?
Jeremy
No the mics here.
Natalie
Our mics are broken? (Speaking into her microphone) Hey, guys, wave if you can hear me!
(At the desk, Casey and Dan wave)
Natalie
The mics are fine. Preview animation.
Elliot
You’ve got it.
Natalie
That’s not right.
Jeremy
Not our mics. Their mics. In the studio. They’re cutting in and out.
Dana (staring at the monitor and speaking absently)
Mike Galveson? Yeah, he’s cutting in and out every time they’re on offense…he needs to…slow down…how hard is it to wait out the clock when…wait, what?
Jeremy
Actually, Dana, I’m pretty sure what’s on second.
Dana
Give me a break, Jeremy, I’ve been staring at the damn network feed for twenty-two minutes waiting for some indication as to whether we’re going on or holding for the end of this race.
Jeremy
Well, I certainly hope we’re holding because we don’t have any sound in the studio.
Dana (snapping out of her daze)
What? Oh! The mics are cutting in and out—I just got that—Chris! Will! What’s up with the mics? (She puts her headset on)
Will
We’re on it.
Dana (turning to Kim)
Kim, get me J.J. on the phone.
Natalie
This is getting ridiculous.
Dana
I know.
Natalie
They can’t check out already.
Dana
I know. But there’s not much I can do.
Dave
Three minutes VTR, two minutes live!
Kim (walks back in)
You’ve got J.J.
Dana
Natalie’s got the wheel. (She exits the control room)
Natalie
Hold tight, guys, we might be going up late.
(Back at the news desk Dan and Casey continue talking)
Dan
I’ve written speeches before.
Casey
I know.
Dan
And we know how that’s turned out.
Casey
Listen—
Dan
They call to make sure you’re going to be there. If you’re going to win these things, someone calls—
Casey
We’re presenting an award. They know you’ll be there.
Dan
I’m not writing a speech.
Casey
I think you should.
Dan
Why?
Casey
Danny—
Dan
Seriously, Case—give me one good reason—
Casey
Danny, you’re the prohibitive winner. Three different shows have predicted it’s going to be you. They know you’re going to be there because we’re introducing an award together and you deserve it. It’s not fate. It’s not hubris. It’s sure not Icarus. It’s fun—write a speech.
Dan (smiles slowly and holds Casey’s gaze)
You see, this is how hubris starts.
Casey
No this is how friendships end. Hey! (waving at the studio) Are we going on the air?
(Natalie out the control room window to see a pissed off Dana wave to get her attention then makes a cutting motion across her neck.)
Natalie (announcing into her mic and to the room)
We’re holding! Dave, take us down from ready one. We’re holding about 15 minutes for the end of the triathlon. (Everyone starts to leave) Hey! Fifteen minutes. Don’t go too far—fifteen minutes.
(Dana walks back in and sits down.)
Natalie
This really is getting ridiculous.
Dana
You’re telling me. We’re meeting tomorrow.
Natalie
You and Isaac and J.J. and…
Dana
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern or whatever the hell their names are this week. The rotating band of idiots they bring in there I swear he just wants to feel like he has a posse.
Natalie
You want me to come too? You could have a posse.
Dana (smiles at her appreciatively)
Thank you, but I may need you to take the first rundown.
Natalie
Whatever you need. (She stands up) I’m going to go find Jeremy.
Dana
Natalie. (Natalie turns back) It’s getting ridiculous.
Natalie (laughs ruefully)
Yeah.
(Back at the anchor desk, Dan and Casey remove their mics)
Dan
You know, this isn’t even the real problem.
Casey
No.
Dan
The real problem—
Casey
And here it comes.
Dan
Is that it’s been a week.
(Dan and Casey walk through the backstage area and out to the newsroom as the continue talking.)
Casey
It has.
Dan
One week.
Casey
Seven days.
Dan
You have no earthly clue what I’m talking about, do you?
Casey
No, but that’s not so much a problem for me as it is for you.
Dan
Rebecca.
Casey
Ah. (A beat) Just call her and get it over with.
Dan
It’s been a week. I can’t just call her after a week.
Casey
So what do you have to do?
Dan
Make a gesture. A grand gesture, Casey.
Casey
Invite her to come with you to this thing. You need a date anyway.
Dan
No I don’t. I’m perfectly capable of going to something like this alone.
Casey
What does your publicist say?
Dan
What does my publicist have to do with it?
Casey
She’s not gonna let you go alone.
Dan
First of all, my publicist is a guy. Secondly, she’s like, fourteen, she doesn’t get to tell me what to do.
Casey
Whatever you say.
Dan
Anyway, who are you bringing?
Casey
I’m going alone. (Off Dan’s look). But I’m allowed to go alone. You remember, I’m recently divorced. I’m expected to go alone.
Dan
You did that just to make me crazy didn’t you?
Casey
Got divorced? No Danny, I got married to make you crazy.
Kim (walks back in)
You’ve got J.J.
Dana
Natalie’s got the wheel. (She exits the control room)
Natalie
Hold tight, guys, we might be going up late.
(Back at the news desk Dan and Casey continue talking)
Dan
I’ve written speeches before.
Casey
I know.
Dan
And we know how that’s turned out.
Casey
Listen—
Dan
They call to make sure you’re going to be there. If you’re going to win these things, someone calls—
Casey
We’re presenting an award. They know you’ll be there.
Dan
I’m not writing a speech.
Casey
I think you should.
Dan
Why?
Casey
Danny—
Dan
Seriously, Case—give me one good reason—
Casey
Danny, you’re the prohibitive winner. Three different shows have predicted it’s going to be you. They know you’re going to be there because we’re introducing an award together and you deserve it. It’s not fate. It’s not hubris. It’s sure not Icarus. It’s fun—write a speech.
Dan (smiles slowly and holds Casey’s gaze)
You see, this is how hubris starts.
Casey
No this is how friendships end. Hey! (waving at the studio) Are we going on the air?
(Natalie out the control room window to see a pissed off Dana wave to get her attention then makes a cutting motion across her neck.)
Natalie (announcing into her mic and to the room)
We’re holding! Dave, take us down from ready one. We’re holding about 15 minutes for the end of the triathlon. (Everyone starts to leave) Hey! Fifteen minutes. Don’t go too far—fifteen minutes.
(Dana walks back in and sits down.)
Natalie
This really is getting ridiculous.
Dana
You’re telling me. We’re meeting tomorrow.
Natalie
You and Isaac and J.J. and…
Dana
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern or whatever the hell their names are this week. The rotating band of idiots they bring in there I swear he just wants to feel like he has a posse.
Natalie
You want me to come too? You could have a posse.
Dana (smiles at her appreciatively)
Thank you, but I may need you to take the first rundown.
Natalie
Whatever you need. (She stands up) I’m going to go find Jeremy.
Dana
Natalie. (Natalie turns back) It’s getting ridiculous.
Natalie (laughs ruefully)
Yeah.
(Back at the anchor desk, Dan and Casey remove their mics)
Dan
You know, this isn’t even the real problem.
Casey
No.
Dan
The real problem—
Casey
And here it comes.
Dan
Is that it’s been a week.
(Dan and Casey walk through the backstage area and out to the newsroom as the continue talking.)
Casey
It has.
Dan
One week.
Casey
Seven days.
Dan
You have no earthly clue what I’m talking about, do you?
Casey
No, but that’s not so much a problem for me as it is for you.
Dan
Rebecca.
Casey
Ah. (A beat) Just call her and get it over with.
Dan
It’s been a week. I can’t just call her after a week.
Casey
So what do you have to do?
Dan
Make a gesture. A grand gesture, Casey.
Casey
Invite her to come with you to this thing. You need a date anyway.
Dan
No I don’t. I’m perfectly capable of going to something like this alone.
Casey
What does your publicist say?
Dan
What does my publicist have to do with it?
Casey
She’s not gonna let you go alone.
Dan
First of all, my publicist is a guy. Secondly, she’s like, fourteen, she doesn’t get to tell me what to do.
Casey
Whatever you say.
Dan
Anyway, who are you bringing?
Casey
I’m going alone. (Off Dan’s look). But I’m allowed to go alone. You remember, I’m recently divorced. I’m expected to go alone.
Dan
You did that just to make me crazy didn’t you?
Casey
Got divorced? No Danny, I got married to make you crazy.
Dan
Well mission accomplished.
Casey
Just call her.
Dan
A grand gesture, Casey! That is what’s needed!
(They reach Dan and Casey’s office and Dan starts to walk in.)
Casey
What are you gonna do?
Dan
I’m probably just gonna call her.
Casey
Can I watch?
Dan
Go away from me now.
(Dan walks into their office and closes the door. Casey makes a sharp turn and heads over to where Natalie and Jeremy are talking at Jeremy’s desk.)
Casey (calls over his shoulder as the door slams)
Fifteen minutes!
Next Morning Cut to—Isaac’s Office
(Isaac is at his desk and J.J and two new executives, Desiree and Tom, are seated across from him. Dana is pacing as she speaks.)
Dana (yelling)
This has become a bad joke, J.J.! Last night I didn’t know until three minutes to air that we weren’t going on the air. And this is just the latest in the line of crap we have had to endure from you guys! You’ve pulled all of our advertising. Even stuff you’ve already paid for, which is just spiteful! We’re getting no support from you guys as far as staff or money! I talked to Sally Sasser about her two shows that didn’t go up, and you sold the West Coast Update timeslot twice! It’s just a matter of time before you start doing that to us!
J.J.
Dana, I’m going to ask you to watch your tone and your volume.
Dana
And I’m going to ask you to shove it up your ass, J.J. I’m trying to do a show!
J.J.
Isaac, how are we supposed to have a productive meeting if she insists on—
Isaac
I think she can hear you, J.J.
J.J.
I came here as a courtesy, Isaac. The fact of the matter is that Sports Night isn’t Continental Corp’s priority and you know that. While we finalize the papers with Quo Vadimus, we’re all in a bit of a holding pattern. (Dana makes a derisive noise and throws up her arms as J.J. continues) Quo Vadimus can’t take over yet, but you can’t ask Continental Corp. to divert resources to a show that won’t be our responsibility in a matter of—
Dana
Finalize the papers then! My god! You can’t say “we’re in a holding pattern” like you have, you know, no earthly clue why we’re in a holding pattern! You. are. the reason! You’re like an ex-boyfriend who gets mad when you start sleeping with someone else, you know that?
J.J.
Well, that was an incredibly sophisticated comparison, Dana.
Dana
You know, J.J., the extent to which you overestimate how much I give a damn about what you think of me is astounding.
J.J. (overlapping with the end of Dana’s sentence)
You know, I don’t need this from you.
Isaac
J.J., no one is asking you for anything outrageous. Keeping us updated as to when we’re going on the air shouldn’t divert any resources from Continental Corp that Luthur Sachs can’t afford to spare.
Dana
Speaking of which, where is Luther? Shouldn’t he be at this meeting?
J.J.
Luther wasn’t feeling well so he asked me—
Dana (rolling her eyes)
Right.
Desiree
Luther Sachs is an extremely busy man, Dana.
Dana (sarcastically)
Wow. No kidding? ‘Cause I have so much free time these days I was thinking about taking up crochet.
Isaac
Alright. Dana’s right. We have jobs to do, too and this hasn’t been productive. (He stands with his cane) J.J., Sports Night and Continental Corp. were a bad match. Our time together hasn’t been pleasant, but we’re nearing the homestretch. All I ask is we try to part ways with a little bit of class. I know that’s not too much to ask of Luther.
J.J.
Of course not, Isaac. (J.J., Desiree, and Tom stand up)
Isaac
Until the papers are finalized, Continental Corp. still owns this network and this show, and we expect professionalism from you all.
Tom
We really are trying to expedite the process.
Isaac
Please do.
(They file out and Dana glares at J.J. as they do. Once they’re gone she turns to Isaac.)
Dana
God!
Isaac
Yeah.
Dana
I just can’t believe they can be so—
Isaac
Dana?
Dana
Yeah?
Isaac
The SPAs are tonight. We’re going to do well. (He beams at her.) This is your night. We’ll worry about this tomorrow. Go be with your team.
Dana
This is really becoming a problem though, Isaac.
Isaac
I know. And it’ll still be a problem tomorrow. Stop worrying about it.
Dana
OK. But—
Isaac
Stop worrying about it. (Pauses and looks at her) Is everything alright?
Dana (chuckles)
Of course. I’m fine. (She smiles) I’ll stop worrying about it.
Isaac (eyes her)
OK.
Dana (shrugging)
OK.
(Dana walks out of Isaac’s office.)
Cut to—Dan and Casey’s Office
Dan
Who are you thanking first?
Casey
You.
Dan
Really?
Casey
Haven’t I thanked you first in the past?
Dan
No. In the past you thanked Lisa first.
Casey (shrugging)
Well then I thanked you last. Same thing.
Dan
How is that the same?
Casey
It is.
Dan
No I don’t think it is, Case, ‘cause, see, one’s first and one’s last.
Casey
It’s functionally the same. First or last—either way, they’re the important positions. (Stares at him as Dan looks back down and continues writing his speech) You know, when I encouraged you to write a speech I didn’t mean to give you the impression you should do so instead of, you know, our job.
Dan
We’re both off tonight for the awards.
Casey
Yeah, but we still need a script for the substitute anchors.
Dan
Who’d they get?
Casey
Peter and Annette.
Dan
Is Sally really running the room?
Casey
Yeah.
Dan
Damn. Was Natalie pissed?
Casey
Natalie’s coming.
Dan
Natalie’s coming?
Casey
Yeah she did the World Series segment, plus Jeremy’s up for the Villanova thing.
Dan (eyes the phone)
Do you think—
Casey
I think she probably hasn’t gotten your message yet.
Dan
How did you know I was going to ask about that?
Casey (sarcastically)
Because I can read your mind. Hey—how about “Thompson rushed for 32 yards proving that when you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way”?
Dan
That’s good.
Casey
Are we sharing a car tonight?
Dan
I feel like I’m going to prom.
Casey
I got stood up at my prom.
Dan
You did not.
Casey
I’m pretty sure I remember this better than you do.
Dan
I’ve seen your prom picture. (Smiling) You went with the Rockette.
Casey (smiling back)
Her name was Lynnae and she was not a Rockette. That’s just how everyone was wearing their hair. And that was my senior prom. I got stood up for junior prom.
Dan
Why’d she stand you up?
Casey
Eh. She got food poisoning. She had to go to the hospital.
Dan
That must have been really hard for you, Case.
Casey
That it was.
Dan
I’ll tell you what. I’ll thank you first tonight.
Casey
Well, that’s all I ask, Danny.
Cut to—Dana’s office
(Dana is sitting at her desk and Natalie is standing in the doorway)
Natalie (holds a dress against herself to show Dana)
What do you think?
Dana
Nice.
Natalie
Good. I want to look nice for tonight.
Dana (smiling)
For Jeremy.
Natalie
For Jeremy. Speaking of which, I think we might have a problem.
Dana
What?
Natalie
There was a misprint in the leaked list.
Dana (happily)
I know! Kim’s up for college sports segment! That’s seven nominations instead of six! This is a coup!
Natalie
Right, but that’s not the misprint I’m talking about.
Dana
What are you talking about?
Natalie
Jeremy’s nomination was misprinted in the leaked list. He was nominated for Villanova in the college sports category.
(Dana stands up and begins walking out to the newsroom with Natalie walking next to her.)
Dana
Wait…so Kim was nominated for…
Natalie
College Sports.
Dana (realizing)
Ooh. Intrigue!
Natalie
There’s a way to look at this that’s only good. We have such a talented group that we’re competing against each other for awards. It’s positive, it’s encouraging. That is a way to look at it.
Dana
But that’s not the way anyone’s going to be looking at it, is it?
Natalie
My guess would be no.
Dana
Fabulous
Natalie
Instead they’ve starting a pool and trying to get everyone to make bets.
Dana
Oh, rundown’s gonna be fun.
Natalie
Yes indeed. (Natalie goes off to the editing room and Dana walks toward Isaac’s office.)
Cut to—Dan and Casey’s office
(Dan is writing and begins counting words on his page.)
Dan
These things don’t need to be long, right?
Casey (looking over Dan’s shoulder)
They need to be longer than that. How is that all you’ve written so far?
Dan
I genuinely believe that the best speeches are the shortest, Casey.
Casey
I genuinely believe that you’re distracted by the phone not ringing.
Dan
The best speeches are the shortest. “I have a dream,” for example.
Casey
You realize that wasn’t the entire speech, right? There were other words in it?
Dan
The Gettysburg Address. How long was the Gettysburg Address?
(Jeremy walks into Dan and Casey’s office and Dan looks up)
Dan
Jeremy, how many words were in the Gettysburg Address?
Jeremy (a beat)
Two hundred sixty-six.
Casey (looks up)
That’s random.
Jeremy
Two sixty-six? Yeah, I guess it could have been two sixty-five.
Casey
No. I mean it’s random that you know that. How do you know that?
Jeremy
I read it once.
Casey
You read that the Gettysburg Address was two hundred sixty-six words?
Jeremy
No. I read the Gettysburg Address.
Dan (shaking his head)
You’re different than most of the people we spend time with.
Jeremy
Dana
This is really becoming a problem though, Isaac.
Isaac
I know. And it’ll still be a problem tomorrow. Stop worrying about it.
Dana
OK. But—
Isaac
Stop worrying about it. (Pauses and looks at her) Is everything alright?
Dana (chuckles)
Of course. I’m fine. (She smiles) I’ll stop worrying about it.
Isaac (eyes her)
OK.
Dana (shrugging)
OK.
(Dana walks out of Isaac’s office.)
Cut to—Dan and Casey’s Office
Dan
Who are you thanking first?
Casey
You.
Dan
Really?
Casey
Haven’t I thanked you first in the past?
Dan
No. In the past you thanked Lisa first.
Casey (shrugging)
Well then I thanked you last. Same thing.
Dan
How is that the same?
Casey
It is.
Dan
No I don’t think it is, Case, ‘cause, see, one’s first and one’s last.
Casey
It’s functionally the same. First or last—either way, they’re the important positions. (Stares at him as Dan looks back down and continues writing his speech) You know, when I encouraged you to write a speech I didn’t mean to give you the impression you should do so instead of, you know, our job.
Dan
We’re both off tonight for the awards.
Casey
Yeah, but we still need a script for the substitute anchors.
Dan
Who’d they get?
Casey
Peter and Annette.
Dan
Is Sally really running the room?
Casey
Yeah.
Dan
Damn. Was Natalie pissed?
Casey
Natalie’s coming.
Dan
Natalie’s coming?
Casey
Yeah she did the World Series segment, plus Jeremy’s up for the Villanova thing.
Dan (eyes the phone)
Do you think—
Casey
I think she probably hasn’t gotten your message yet.
Dan
How did you know I was going to ask about that?
Casey (sarcastically)
Because I can read your mind. Hey—how about “Thompson rushed for 32 yards proving that when you’re a Jet you’re a Jet all the way”?
Dan
That’s good.
Casey
Are we sharing a car tonight?
Dan
I feel like I’m going to prom.
Casey
I got stood up at my prom.
Dan
You did not.
Casey
I’m pretty sure I remember this better than you do.
Dan
I’ve seen your prom picture. (Smiling) You went with the Rockette.
Casey (smiling back)
Her name was Lynnae and she was not a Rockette. That’s just how everyone was wearing their hair. And that was my senior prom. I got stood up for junior prom.
Dan
Why’d she stand you up?
Casey
Eh. She got food poisoning. She had to go to the hospital.
Dan
That must have been really hard for you, Case.
Casey
That it was.
Dan
I’ll tell you what. I’ll thank you first tonight.
Casey
Well, that’s all I ask, Danny.
Cut to—Dana’s office
(Dana is sitting at her desk and Natalie is standing in the doorway)
Natalie (holds a dress against herself to show Dana)
What do you think?
Dana
Nice.
Natalie
Good. I want to look nice for tonight.
Dana (smiling)
For Jeremy.
Natalie
For Jeremy. Speaking of which, I think we might have a problem.
Dana
What?
Natalie
There was a misprint in the leaked list.
Dana (happily)
I know! Kim’s up for college sports segment! That’s seven nominations instead of six! This is a coup!
Natalie
Right, but that’s not the misprint I’m talking about.
Dana
What are you talking about?
Natalie
Jeremy’s nomination was misprinted in the leaked list. He was nominated for Villanova in the college sports category.
(Dana stands up and begins walking out to the newsroom with Natalie walking next to her.)
Dana
Wait…so Kim was nominated for…
Natalie
College Sports.
Dana (realizing)
Ooh. Intrigue!
Natalie
There’s a way to look at this that’s only good. We have such a talented group that we’re competing against each other for awards. It’s positive, it’s encouraging. That is a way to look at it.
Dana
But that’s not the way anyone’s going to be looking at it, is it?
Natalie
My guess would be no.
Dana
Fabulous
Natalie
Instead they’ve starting a pool and trying to get everyone to make bets.
Dana
Oh, rundown’s gonna be fun.
Natalie
Yes indeed. (Natalie goes off to the editing room and Dana walks toward Isaac’s office.)
Cut to—Dan and Casey’s office
(Dan is writing and begins counting words on his page.)
Dan
These things don’t need to be long, right?
Casey (looking over Dan’s shoulder)
They need to be longer than that. How is that all you’ve written so far?
Dan
I genuinely believe that the best speeches are the shortest, Casey.
Casey
I genuinely believe that you’re distracted by the phone not ringing.
Dan
The best speeches are the shortest. “I have a dream,” for example.
Casey
You realize that wasn’t the entire speech, right? There were other words in it?
Dan
The Gettysburg Address. How long was the Gettysburg Address?
(Jeremy walks into Dan and Casey’s office and Dan looks up)
Dan
Jeremy, how many words were in the Gettysburg Address?
Jeremy (a beat)
Two hundred sixty-six.
Casey (looks up)
That’s random.
Jeremy
Two sixty-six? Yeah, I guess it could have been two sixty-five.
Casey
No. I mean it’s random that you know that. How do you know that?
Jeremy
I read it once.
Casey
You read that the Gettysburg Address was two hundred sixty-six words?
Jeremy
No. I read the Gettysburg Address.
Dan (shaking his head)
You’re different than most of the people we spend time with.
Jeremy
The two of you are most of the people you spend time with.
Dan (looking at Casey)
He’s got us there.
Casey
True.
Jeremy
Anyway, Natalie wanted me to tell you rundown’s in five minutes.
Casey
Thanks. (Jeremy leaves and Dan continues staring at the phone) What did you say when you called?
Dan
Just to call me back.
Casey
You didn’t invite her to the thing.
Dan (pauses)
Nah. I just told her to call me back.
Casey (confidently)
She will.
Dan
How do you know?
Casey
I know things. Women, being one of those things.
Dan
OK, that doesn’t help me Case, because you’ve had, like 3 dates in your life and you’re going alone to this thing tonight because the last one divorced you.
Casey
True, but at least all three of my dates called me back.
Dan
Let’s go to rundown.
Cut to—Conference Room
(Everyone is sitting around the conference table and Sally is there too.)
Dan
We cut the Minute Men stuff so you can have, like, a buck fifty back.
Dana
You were planning on spending that much time on the Minute Men?
Casey
We’re artists, Dana. You can’t constrain artists.
Dana
See, now, I’m pretty sure I get paid to do just that. Sally, you’re going to want to tease Nascar and Phil Jackson, since the Rangers won’t be done yet.
Sally
Right.
Natalie
And don’t forget the change-up in the 30s.
Sally
Right.
Dana
Just stick completely to the script and you should be fine.
Sally (with mock appreciation)
Wow. Your confidence in me is inspiring, Dana
(The room becomes uncomfortably quiet. Dana clears her throat.)
Dana
Sally, I have all the confidence in the world in you. I’m just nervous because neither Natalie nor myself will be here, but I couldn’t ask for a better substitute than you. Okay. We’re leaving at 5:30, so Sally’s running the last two rundowns. What else?
Kim
Dana, I just wanted to remind everyone to place your bets on the SPAs tonight. We’ve expanded the pool so you can now bet on all the awards for tonight, not just mine.
Jeremy
You mean mine.
Dana
Oh please don’t you two start.
Kim
Whatever. (She pulls out a sheet and passes it around)
Dana (taking the sheet)
You know, you people are—wait, what!? This has to be wrong. Do you realize that some of you are voting against Sports Night for the categories we’re up for? Sports Show of the Year and Best Super Bowl Coverage—you should not be voting against us in those categories!
Jeremy
Well, Dana, you have to play the odds with these things.
Dana
Well, thank you, so much for that, but I happen to believe in a little thing called loyalty. I’ve got 100 bucks on us for both categories.
Natalie
But people are already betting against so if we lose you’re going to owe—
Dana
Loyalty.
Natalie
Whatever you say.
Dana
Final thing. Please be warned, we’re having some issues with CSC right now.
Casey (looking at his watch)
Oh, wow. Is it last year already?
Dana
I know. But until the papers are finalized they’re still our pocketbook, so acceptance speeches must be gracious. I mean it! Do not go up there and piss anybody off.
Dan
Why are you looking at me?
Dana
Because Isaac wasn’t nominated for anything. (Isaac chuckles.) Sally, do you have anything?
Sally
Good luck tonight, to all of you. (Everyone smiles and says thanks as they stand up and file out.)
Dana (to no one in particular)
Alright. Let’s go.
Cut to—Dana’s Office
Natalie
So I have a problem.
Dana
God that woman drives me crazy! Sally Sasser drives me absolutely crazy. (Looks at Natalie) What’s your problem?
Natalie
Well I have to make my predictions for tonight for the pool.
Dana
Do not bet against Sports Night, I need you to be with me on this.
Natalie
I am with you.
Dana (looking at Natalie suspiciously and then her eyes get wide as she realizes)
Natalie, you can’t!
Natalie
I just honestly believe Kim has the better shot. I would love for Jeremy to win this award! I’m not rooting against him, I’m just betting against him.
Dana
Wow, it’s almost hard to believe you don’t want to make that argument to him.
Natalie
I was considering it
Dana
Well stop considering it.
Natalie
You think no? (Dana givers her a look.)
Natalie
So my hands are tied?
Dana
It’s a kidnapping, Natalie. (She stares out the window.) What do you think the odds are that Sally’s going to screw something up tonight? I’d like to place a bet on that.
Natalie
She’ll be fine.
Dana
(In a mocking voice) “Your confidence in me is astounding.” God she’s just so—
Natalie
You need to give her a break.
Dana (rolling her eyes)
Why? Because she’s taking the show tonight?
Natalie
Well. Yeah, actually, but that’s not really why.
Dana
Then why?
Natalie
Because they’ve sold her timeslot twice and Quo Vadamus already thinks West Coast Update is a money drain. She’s fighting a battle she’s not going to win while she’s trying to hold her show together with both hands and you know what that’s like.
Dana
You know, you’re really annoying when you’re right.
Natalie
It’s weird isn’t it? (She turns and starts to walk out.) So be nice!
Dana (calling after her)
Oh go bet against your boyfriend!
Cut to—Concert Hall
(Isaac, Esther, Dan, Casey, Dana, Natalie, Jeremy, and Kim are seated around a table.)
Dana
See the problem is that we can’t hurry them along. Because of some ridiculous technicality, CSC can actually run out the contract before Quo Vadimus can take over. There’s like a year left, so…they’re dragging their feet. (She gives a small smile and shrugs) And there’s really nothing we can do about it.
Jeremy
So we’re going to be with CSC for another year?
Dana
Well—
Isaac
No. They have the option to run out the contract. They’re not going to do it. We should be out of the holding pattern in a couple of weeks, so don’t worry about it.
Kim
Last chance to make final bets! I just got off the phone with Dave—he wants five on Russ Stogey for NFL Highlights.
Dan
Yeah, Stogey’s got a lock on that.
Casey (looking at Dan)
You look nervous.
Dan
I’m not nervous.
Casey
Well you look nervous.
Jeremy (looking at the SPA pool sheet)
Natalie, what is this?
Dana
Uh-oh
Jeremy
Wait did you—You bet against me?
Kim (smiling)
Tonight’s gonna be fun.
Natalie
I didn’t bet against you, honey, it’s that I—Well, it’s just that…yes. That’s exactly what I did.
Jeremy
Nice show of support.
Natalie
Well, it kind of is, right? Because if you lose I still win $50 I can take you out for a nice dinner to cheer you up.
Jeremy
Give me that sheet. (Takes it and erases something). There, now if your segment on the World Series loses, I can take you out for dinner.
Dana (shaking her head)
Tonight’s gonna be fun.
Natalie
OK, but see now, yours is just spiteful because you know my segment is going to win that one.
Jeremy
Strangely enough, I still take pleasure in it.
Isaac (leaning over to Dan)
Casey wants me to make sure you stay calm tonight. Are you calm?
Dan
Not you too.
Casey
Well, you look nervous.
Dan
I do not.
Isaac
You look—
Dan (laughing)
Stop telling me how I look.
Casey
Is this about Rebecca? (To Isaac) I told him he should have brought a date.
(Isaac laughs and Dan glares at him.)
Esther
Leave the poor boy alone.
Isaac (laughing)
He looks nervous!
Dan
You, on the other hand, look unbelievable tonight, Esther.
Esther
Dan (looking at Casey)
He’s got us there.
Casey
True.
Jeremy
Anyway, Natalie wanted me to tell you rundown’s in five minutes.
Casey
Thanks. (Jeremy leaves and Dan continues staring at the phone) What did you say when you called?
Dan
Just to call me back.
Casey
You didn’t invite her to the thing.
Dan (pauses)
Nah. I just told her to call me back.
Casey (confidently)
She will.
Dan
How do you know?
Casey
I know things. Women, being one of those things.
Dan
OK, that doesn’t help me Case, because you’ve had, like 3 dates in your life and you’re going alone to this thing tonight because the last one divorced you.
Casey
True, but at least all three of my dates called me back.
Dan
Let’s go to rundown.
Cut to—Conference Room
(Everyone is sitting around the conference table and Sally is there too.)
Dan
We cut the Minute Men stuff so you can have, like, a buck fifty back.
Dana
You were planning on spending that much time on the Minute Men?
Casey
We’re artists, Dana. You can’t constrain artists.
Dana
See, now, I’m pretty sure I get paid to do just that. Sally, you’re going to want to tease Nascar and Phil Jackson, since the Rangers won’t be done yet.
Sally
Right.
Natalie
And don’t forget the change-up in the 30s.
Sally
Right.
Dana
Just stick completely to the script and you should be fine.
Sally (with mock appreciation)
Wow. Your confidence in me is inspiring, Dana
(The room becomes uncomfortably quiet. Dana clears her throat.)
Dana
Sally, I have all the confidence in the world in you. I’m just nervous because neither Natalie nor myself will be here, but I couldn’t ask for a better substitute than you. Okay. We’re leaving at 5:30, so Sally’s running the last two rundowns. What else?
Kim
Dana, I just wanted to remind everyone to place your bets on the SPAs tonight. We’ve expanded the pool so you can now bet on all the awards for tonight, not just mine.
Jeremy
You mean mine.
Dana
Oh please don’t you two start.
Kim
Whatever. (She pulls out a sheet and passes it around)
Dana (taking the sheet)
You know, you people are—wait, what!? This has to be wrong. Do you realize that some of you are voting against Sports Night for the categories we’re up for? Sports Show of the Year and Best Super Bowl Coverage—you should not be voting against us in those categories!
Jeremy
Well, Dana, you have to play the odds with these things.
Dana
Well, thank you, so much for that, but I happen to believe in a little thing called loyalty. I’ve got 100 bucks on us for both categories.
Natalie
But people are already betting against so if we lose you’re going to owe—
Dana
Loyalty.
Natalie
Whatever you say.
Dana
Final thing. Please be warned, we’re having some issues with CSC right now.
Casey (looking at his watch)
Oh, wow. Is it last year already?
Dana
I know. But until the papers are finalized they’re still our pocketbook, so acceptance speeches must be gracious. I mean it! Do not go up there and piss anybody off.
Dan
Why are you looking at me?
Dana
Because Isaac wasn’t nominated for anything. (Isaac chuckles.) Sally, do you have anything?
Sally
Good luck tonight, to all of you. (Everyone smiles and says thanks as they stand up and file out.)
Dana (to no one in particular)
Alright. Let’s go.
Cut to—Dana’s Office
Natalie
So I have a problem.
Dana
God that woman drives me crazy! Sally Sasser drives me absolutely crazy. (Looks at Natalie) What’s your problem?
Natalie
Well I have to make my predictions for tonight for the pool.
Dana
Do not bet against Sports Night, I need you to be with me on this.
Natalie
I am with you.
Dana (looking at Natalie suspiciously and then her eyes get wide as she realizes)
Natalie, you can’t!
Natalie
I just honestly believe Kim has the better shot. I would love for Jeremy to win this award! I’m not rooting against him, I’m just betting against him.
Dana
Wow, it’s almost hard to believe you don’t want to make that argument to him.
Natalie
I was considering it
Dana
Well stop considering it.
Natalie
You think no? (Dana givers her a look.)
Natalie
So my hands are tied?
Dana
It’s a kidnapping, Natalie. (She stares out the window.) What do you think the odds are that Sally’s going to screw something up tonight? I’d like to place a bet on that.
Natalie
She’ll be fine.
Dana
(In a mocking voice) “Your confidence in me is astounding.” God she’s just so—
Natalie
You need to give her a break.
Dana (rolling her eyes)
Why? Because she’s taking the show tonight?
Natalie
Well. Yeah, actually, but that’s not really why.
Dana
Then why?
Natalie
Because they’ve sold her timeslot twice and Quo Vadamus already thinks West Coast Update is a money drain. She’s fighting a battle she’s not going to win while she’s trying to hold her show together with both hands and you know what that’s like.
Dana
You know, you’re really annoying when you’re right.
Natalie
It’s weird isn’t it? (She turns and starts to walk out.) So be nice!
Dana (calling after her)
Oh go bet against your boyfriend!
Cut to—Concert Hall
(Isaac, Esther, Dan, Casey, Dana, Natalie, Jeremy, and Kim are seated around a table.)
Dana
See the problem is that we can’t hurry them along. Because of some ridiculous technicality, CSC can actually run out the contract before Quo Vadimus can take over. There’s like a year left, so…they’re dragging their feet. (She gives a small smile and shrugs) And there’s really nothing we can do about it.
Jeremy
So we’re going to be with CSC for another year?
Dana
Well—
Isaac
No. They have the option to run out the contract. They’re not going to do it. We should be out of the holding pattern in a couple of weeks, so don’t worry about it.
Kim
Last chance to make final bets! I just got off the phone with Dave—he wants five on Russ Stogey for NFL Highlights.
Dan
Yeah, Stogey’s got a lock on that.
Casey (looking at Dan)
You look nervous.
Dan
I’m not nervous.
Casey
Well you look nervous.
Jeremy (looking at the SPA pool sheet)
Natalie, what is this?
Dana
Uh-oh
Jeremy
Wait did you—You bet against me?
Kim (smiling)
Tonight’s gonna be fun.
Natalie
I didn’t bet against you, honey, it’s that I—Well, it’s just that…yes. That’s exactly what I did.
Jeremy
Nice show of support.
Natalie
Well, it kind of is, right? Because if you lose I still win $50 I can take you out for a nice dinner to cheer you up.
Jeremy
Give me that sheet. (Takes it and erases something). There, now if your segment on the World Series loses, I can take you out for dinner.
Dana (shaking her head)
Tonight’s gonna be fun.
Natalie
OK, but see now, yours is just spiteful because you know my segment is going to win that one.
Jeremy
Strangely enough, I still take pleasure in it.
Isaac (leaning over to Dan)
Casey wants me to make sure you stay calm tonight. Are you calm?
Dan
Not you too.
Casey
Well, you look nervous.
Dan
I do not.
Isaac
You look—
Dan (laughing)
Stop telling me how I look.
Casey
Is this about Rebecca? (To Isaac) I told him he should have brought a date.
(Isaac laughs and Dan glares at him.)
Esther
Leave the poor boy alone.
Isaac (laughing)
He looks nervous!
Dan
You, on the other hand, look unbelievable tonight, Esther.
Esther
Thank you, Danny.
Dan
Are you here with anyone? It comes to my attention that I need a date.
Isaac (points at Dan)
Watch it.
Casey
Do you have your speech?
Dan (tapping his breast pocket)
Yes.
Casey
Do you need a drink?
Dan
Casey—
Casey
I’m just looking out for you, Danny.
Dan
I’m perfectly fine. I’m a rock. I haven’t gotten myself all worked up about tonight so nothing can shake me.
(Out of the corner of his eye he spots Rebecca standing with Steve Sisquo and talking to a group of people. Dan freezes and Casey follows his gaze and sees Rebecca.)
Casey
You look nervous, Danny.
Dan
I’ve been better.
Casey
Let’s get a drink.
(Casey and Dan stand up and walk to the bar. A man walks out on stage and begins speaking.)
Announcer
Good evening and welcome to the 2000 Sports Program Awards!
Cut to—the bar
(Casey and Dan get drinks and stand next to the bar while the program continues on stage. Dan is facing the bar with his back to the room and Casey is facing the room and watching Rebecca for Dan.)
Casey
What is she doing here? Is she here with Steve Sisquo?
Dan
I should go talk to her. Meet me back at the table.
Casey
No, I’m your wingman.
Dan
That can’t be good for me. Meet me back at the table.
Casey
It might be too late for that.
Dan
Why?
Casey
Because she’s coming over here now.
Rebecca (walking over to them)
Hi Dan. Hi Casey.
Casey
Hi Rebecca.
(Dan hands his glass to Casey and nods toward the table. Casey waves to Rebecca as he walks back to the table and sits back down.)
Dan
Hi.
Rebecca (smiling)
Hi.
Dan
I’m glad you’re here.
Rebecca (still smiling)
I’m glad you’re here too. I was hoping you’d show. I heard through the grapevine you were up for an award.
Dan (smiling)
Gotta love that grapevine.
Cut to—the table
Casey
Rebecca is here and I think she’s with Steve Sisquo.
Natalie
Oh you’re kidding me. (Natalie strains to try to get a better look.)
Dana (watching the stage)
OK—shh! This is us. This is Super Bowl coverage. (She reaches over and squeezes Isaac’s hand)
Announcer
And the winner is…CSC’s Sports Night!
(Everyone at the table stands up and cheers. They hug each other and Dana kisses Isaac on the cheek as she makes her way up to the stage. Casey reaches out for her and as they embrace she whispers “Tonight’s gonna be fun.”)
(As Dana goes on stage to give a speech, Dan and Rebecca make their way over to the table.)
Dan (smiling and gesturing to Dana onstage)
Not bad.
Casey
Not bad at all.
(Dan grabs another chair from a nearby table and gives Rebecca the one he was sitting in. Dan is now sitting in between Rebecca and Casey. As he sits Casey gives him a curious look, but he just shakes his head.)
Rebecca
Hey. Congratulations you guys!
Natalie
Thanks Rebecaa. We’re glad you decided to join us.
Rebecca (smiling)
Well, of course. It’s a big night.
Dana (walking back to the table holding the award and beaming)
Ha! Pay up, oh ye of little faith! (A beat) Rebecca. (She glances curiously at Dan) You’re with us? That’s great!
Rebecca
Of course I am. (Looks at Dan and lowers her voice) Why is everyone so surprised that I’m here?
Dan
They tend to show surprise whenever women seem to take an interest in me.
Rebecca
Well, I guess I understand that. (smiling) So when’s your big award?
Dan
It’s really not that big. Casey’s is big…mine is just…an award.
Rebecca
How do you know which ones are big and which ones aren’t?
Dan
The big ones are Sports Show of the Year, Sports Anchor of the Year…anything that has a corollary at the ESPIEs, basically.
Rebecca
But you’re up for Sports Anchor of the Year.
Dan
Yeah, but I’m not going to win that one.
Rebecca
Steve’s up for that one too.
Dan
Yeah, well, he’s really not going to win that one. Casey’s going to.
Rebecca
If you know all of this, why do you guys even bother coming to these things?
Dan (raises his glass)
Open bar.
Rebecca
Of course.
Dan
Are you here with anyone? It comes to my attention that I need a date.
Isaac (points at Dan)
Watch it.
Casey
Do you have your speech?
Dan (tapping his breast pocket)
Yes.
Casey
Do you need a drink?
Dan
Casey—
Casey
I’m just looking out for you, Danny.
Dan
I’m perfectly fine. I’m a rock. I haven’t gotten myself all worked up about tonight so nothing can shake me.
(Out of the corner of his eye he spots Rebecca standing with Steve Sisquo and talking to a group of people. Dan freezes and Casey follows his gaze and sees Rebecca.)
Casey
You look nervous, Danny.
Dan
I’ve been better.
Casey
Let’s get a drink.
(Casey and Dan stand up and walk to the bar. A man walks out on stage and begins speaking.)
Announcer
Good evening and welcome to the 2000 Sports Program Awards!
Cut to—the bar
(Casey and Dan get drinks and stand next to the bar while the program continues on stage. Dan is facing the bar with his back to the room and Casey is facing the room and watching Rebecca for Dan.)
Casey
What is she doing here? Is she here with Steve Sisquo?
Dan
I should go talk to her. Meet me back at the table.
Casey
No, I’m your wingman.
Dan
That can’t be good for me. Meet me back at the table.
Casey
It might be too late for that.
Dan
Why?
Casey
Because she’s coming over here now.
Rebecca (walking over to them)
Hi Dan. Hi Casey.
Casey
Hi Rebecca.
(Dan hands his glass to Casey and nods toward the table. Casey waves to Rebecca as he walks back to the table and sits back down.)
Dan
Hi.
Rebecca (smiling)
Hi.
Dan
I’m glad you’re here.
Rebecca (still smiling)
I’m glad you’re here too. I was hoping you’d show. I heard through the grapevine you were up for an award.
Dan (smiling)
Gotta love that grapevine.
Cut to—the table
Casey
Rebecca is here and I think she’s with Steve Sisquo.
Natalie
Oh you’re kidding me. (Natalie strains to try to get a better look.)
Dana (watching the stage)
OK—shh! This is us. This is Super Bowl coverage. (She reaches over and squeezes Isaac’s hand)
Announcer
And the winner is…CSC’s Sports Night!
(Everyone at the table stands up and cheers. They hug each other and Dana kisses Isaac on the cheek as she makes her way up to the stage. Casey reaches out for her and as they embrace she whispers “Tonight’s gonna be fun.”)
(As Dana goes on stage to give a speech, Dan and Rebecca make their way over to the table.)
Dan (smiling and gesturing to Dana onstage)
Not bad.
Casey
Not bad at all.
(Dan grabs another chair from a nearby table and gives Rebecca the one he was sitting in. Dan is now sitting in between Rebecca and Casey. As he sits Casey gives him a curious look, but he just shakes his head.)
Rebecca
Hey. Congratulations you guys!
Natalie
Thanks Rebecaa. We’re glad you decided to join us.
Rebecca (smiling)
Well, of course. It’s a big night.
Dana (walking back to the table holding the award and beaming)
Ha! Pay up, oh ye of little faith! (A beat) Rebecca. (She glances curiously at Dan) You’re with us? That’s great!
Rebecca
Of course I am. (Looks at Dan and lowers her voice) Why is everyone so surprised that I’m here?
Dan
They tend to show surprise whenever women seem to take an interest in me.
Rebecca
Well, I guess I understand that. (smiling) So when’s your big award?
Dan
It’s really not that big. Casey’s is big…mine is just…an award.
Rebecca
How do you know which ones are big and which ones aren’t?
Dan
The big ones are Sports Show of the Year, Sports Anchor of the Year…anything that has a corollary at the ESPIEs, basically.
Rebecca
But you’re up for Sports Anchor of the Year.
Dan
Yeah, but I’m not going to win that one.
Rebecca
Steve’s up for that one too.
Dan
Yeah, well, he’s really not going to win that one. Casey’s going to.
Rebecca
If you know all of this, why do you guys even bother coming to these things?
Dan (raises his glass)
Open bar.
Rebecca
Of course.
Dana
The thing is, I’m not so sure I want us doing too well tonight.
Kim
Did you want to change your bet?
Dana
No. I mean—(She lowers her voice) I don’t know if the show doing well is going to make CSC want to hang on longer.
Isaac
Oh would you please?
Dana (still whispering)
I’m serious. I honestly think they might be having second thoughs.
Natalie (whispering)
And you think they’re dragging their feet because they don’t actually want to sell?
Jeremy (whispering)
Why are we whispering?
Isaac
Because you’re all crazy! CSC is not having second thoughts. Luther Sachs does not want to keep us on. He barely wanted to keep us when he had us. Can everyone please just stop worrying about this?
Casey (reading a card and nudging Dan)
We have to check in backstage in 15 minutes. We’re up after this next segment.
Dan (to Rebecca)
Casey and I are presenting in a few minutes.
Rebecca (laughing and not expecting an answer)
And who’s winning that award?
Everyone
Paul Minnow.
Rebecca (looking in disbelief)
So, the element of surprise is completely lost on you all, isn’t it?
Dan
Not so much lost on us as shunned.
Rebecca
OK, maybe I should be drinking more.
Natalie
Well, that’s usually a pretty safe bet in this crowd.
Kim
Rebecca, do you want to join our pool? (She hands Rebecca the sheet of paper with everyone’s bets) We’re all placing bets on the awards.
Rebecca
How are you all betting on anything if everyone knows who’s going to win everything?
Isaac
We only know some of them. The awards that go to shows and segments are usually kept a little more secret than the individual ones.
Rebecca (looking at the sheet)
Wait, you guys this can’t be right. Some of you are betting against Sports Night for your awards.
Dana (throws up her hands)
Thank you!
Rebecca
And, Natalie, did you mean to bet against Jeremy?
Jeremy (throws up his hands)
Thank you!
Natalie
Um, honey, you lost a little moral high ground when you changed your bet so that you were betting against me too.
Rebecca
So you guys realize that you’re betting real money right? Isn’t there a cheaper way to fight with each other?
Jeremy
Well, I’m sure there is, but the concept of wise investment strategies?
Rebecca
Also lost on you?
Jeremy (smiling)
More like shunned.
Rebecca (standing up)
And I’m going to the bar.
(Everyone watches her leave then turns to Dan.)
Natalie
So what happened!? I thought she was here with Steve Sisquo!
Dan (whispering)
Let’s talk about it later
Dana
She’s going to be gone for like, two minutes, Danny, this would pretty much be our window.
Dan
I don’t want to get into it. Just don’t bring it up with her.
Rebecca (coming back)
Hey. Do you guys need to go backstage?
Dan
We do indeed. (Casey and Dan stand up and start to leave, but Dan turns back.) I’m glad you’re here.
Rebecca
Me too. Now get going. Paul Minnow is waiting to be surprised with an award he knows he’s winning.
(Casey and Dan start walking)
Casey (watching Dan)
She really likes you, huh?
Dan
It’s almost hard to believe.
Casey (smiling)
Yeah, almost.
(They walk toward the backstage area and continue talking.)
Dan
What’s up with Dana?
Casey
The thing is, I’m not so sure I want us doing too well tonight.
Kim
Did you want to change your bet?
Dana
No. I mean—(She lowers her voice) I don’t know if the show doing well is going to make CSC want to hang on longer.
Isaac
Oh would you please?
Dana (still whispering)
I’m serious. I honestly think they might be having second thoughs.
Natalie (whispering)
And you think they’re dragging their feet because they don’t actually want to sell?
Jeremy (whispering)
Why are we whispering?
Isaac
Because you’re all crazy! CSC is not having second thoughts. Luther Sachs does not want to keep us on. He barely wanted to keep us when he had us. Can everyone please just stop worrying about this?
Casey (reading a card and nudging Dan)
We have to check in backstage in 15 minutes. We’re up after this next segment.
Dan (to Rebecca)
Casey and I are presenting in a few minutes.
Rebecca (laughing and not expecting an answer)
And who’s winning that award?
Everyone
Paul Minnow.
Rebecca (looking in disbelief)
So, the element of surprise is completely lost on you all, isn’t it?
Dan
Not so much lost on us as shunned.
Rebecca
OK, maybe I should be drinking more.
Natalie
Well, that’s usually a pretty safe bet in this crowd.
Kim
Rebecca, do you want to join our pool? (She hands Rebecca the sheet of paper with everyone’s bets) We’re all placing bets on the awards.
Rebecca
How are you all betting on anything if everyone knows who’s going to win everything?
Isaac
We only know some of them. The awards that go to shows and segments are usually kept a little more secret than the individual ones.
Rebecca (looking at the sheet)
Wait, you guys this can’t be right. Some of you are betting against Sports Night for your awards.
Dana (throws up her hands)
Thank you!
Rebecca
And, Natalie, did you mean to bet against Jeremy?
Jeremy (throws up his hands)
Thank you!
Natalie
Um, honey, you lost a little moral high ground when you changed your bet so that you were betting against me too.
Rebecca
So you guys realize that you’re betting real money right? Isn’t there a cheaper way to fight with each other?
Jeremy
Well, I’m sure there is, but the concept of wise investment strategies?
Rebecca
Also lost on you?
Jeremy (smiling)
More like shunned.
Rebecca (standing up)
And I’m going to the bar.
(Everyone watches her leave then turns to Dan.)
Natalie
So what happened!? I thought she was here with Steve Sisquo!
Dan (whispering)
Let’s talk about it later
Dana
She’s going to be gone for like, two minutes, Danny, this would pretty much be our window.
Dan
I don’t want to get into it. Just don’t bring it up with her.
Rebecca (coming back)
Hey. Do you guys need to go backstage?
Dan
We do indeed. (Casey and Dan stand up and start to leave, but Dan turns back.) I’m glad you’re here.
Rebecca
Me too. Now get going. Paul Minnow is waiting to be surprised with an award he knows he’s winning.
(Casey and Dan start walking)
Casey (watching Dan)
She really likes you, huh?
Dan
It’s almost hard to believe.
Casey (smiling)
Yeah, almost.
(They walk toward the backstage area and continue talking.)
Dan
What’s up with Dana?
Casey
I do not know.
Dan
She seems really stressed about CSC and everything.
Casey
Well don’t you start thinking about that. You need to stay focused.
Dan
I’m really not making a big deal, Casey
Casey
Because of the Greeks.
Dan
Because of the Greeks.
Casey
Whatever you say.
Dan
But seriously, I think something’s up with Dana.
Casey
I’ll get into it when we get back to the table. You just keep your head in the game.
(They walk backstage)
Cut to—the table
(Dan and Casey have just presented their award together and the next category is college sports. The announcer lists the nominees as everyone continues to talk.)
Jeremy
This is it.
Natalie
Good luck, honey.
Kim (smiling at Jeremy)
Thank you, Natalie.
Natalie (rolling her eyes)
I was talking to Jeremy.
Jeremy
I’m not speaking to you.
Natalie
Wait, to me or to Kim?
Jeremy
To either of you really.
Kim
Then who are you talking to now?
(Jeremy begins to answer when he’s interrupted by the announcer)
Announcer
Jeremy Goodwin!
(The room applauds and Natalie stands up and cheers loudly as she reaches in her purse and puts a $50 bill on the table.)
Jeremy (turning to Natalie)
You just happened to have a $50 bill in your purse?
Natalie (grinning)
I really was hoping I’d need it.
Jeremy
You’re impossible
Natalie
And you’re amazing. (He kisses her.)
Jeremy
And I didn’t really change my bet. Smart money’s always been on you.
Dan
She seems really stressed about CSC and everything.
Casey
Well don’t you start thinking about that. You need to stay focused.
Dan
I’m really not making a big deal, Casey
Casey
Because of the Greeks.
Dan
Because of the Greeks.
Casey
Whatever you say.
Dan
But seriously, I think something’s up with Dana.
Casey
I’ll get into it when we get back to the table. You just keep your head in the game.
(They walk backstage)
Cut to—the table
(Dan and Casey have just presented their award together and the next category is college sports. The announcer lists the nominees as everyone continues to talk.)
Jeremy
This is it.
Natalie
Good luck, honey.
Kim (smiling at Jeremy)
Thank you, Natalie.
Natalie (rolling her eyes)
I was talking to Jeremy.
Jeremy
I’m not speaking to you.
Natalie
Wait, to me or to Kim?
Jeremy
To either of you really.
Kim
Then who are you talking to now?
(Jeremy begins to answer when he’s interrupted by the announcer)
Announcer
Jeremy Goodwin!
(The room applauds and Natalie stands up and cheers loudly as she reaches in her purse and puts a $50 bill on the table.)
Jeremy (turning to Natalie)
You just happened to have a $50 bill in your purse?
Natalie (grinning)
I really was hoping I’d need it.
Jeremy
You’re impossible
Natalie
And you’re amazing. (He kisses her.)
Jeremy
And I didn’t really change my bet. Smart money’s always been on you.
Natalie
So you’re not going to give me a hard time about this?
Jeremy
Oh, no, I definitely am.
(Natalie stares after Jeremy as he walks toward the stage)
(Dan and Casey return to the table in time to shake hands with Jeremy as he goes onstage to receive his award.)
Dan (squeezes Kim’s shoulders briefly and kisses her head before sitting back down)
How are we doing?
Kim
I lost, but I’m still up overall, so I’m doing OK.
Dana
I’m grabbing a drink.
Casey
I’ll go with you.
(They walk over to the bar, but don’t order anything yet.)
Casey
What’s going on with you?
Dana (shrugs)
Nothing.
Casey
Really?
Dana
Really.
Casey
Really?
Dana
Honest to god, Casey is this gonna go on much longer?
Casey
The whole thing with CSC. You’re nervous they don’t want to sign, you think they’re dragging their feet on purpose…it almost seems like you want there to be some problem with this.
Dana
Of course I don’t want there to be a problem! I’m just pretty sure there is one and I’m just looking out for the show.
Casey
So you’d be fine if there was no problem?
Dana
Fine? I’d be thrilled!
Casey (looks at her)
Really?
Dana
Casey!
Casey
Good. Because my publicist called backstage. CSC is releasing a statement in the morning. They finalized the papers. We’re officially sold.
Dana (she is visibly shocked and doesn’t look happy)
We are?
Casey
Yeah.
Dana (quietly)
Really?
Casey (smiling)
Yeah.
Dana (nodding)
Well, OK, then. Let’s see what happens next.
(As she says that Casey realizes Dan’s category is up next and walks back to the table. Dana turns to order a glass of wine)
Dana (quietly and to herself)
Let’s see what happens next.
(Casey gets back to the table and Dana is a few steps behind him)
Casey (to Dan)
This is it. This is you.
(The table gets quiet and Rebecca holds Dan’s hand)
Announcer
The next award tonight is for Sports Television Personality of the Year. And the nominees are: Tom Mooring of Fox Sports. Dan Rydell of Sports Night. Ted Mueson of Fox Sports. And Terry Weeler of Sports Center. And the award goes to…Terry Weeler of Sports Center.
(Dan recovers first and claps politely. The rest of the table applauds quietly, but everyone is visibly stunned. Dan finishes his drink as Terry Weeler gives an acceptance speech. Rebecca rubs Dan’s arm affectionately.)
Casey
Danny—
Dan
It’s fine.
Dana
I can’t believe that many shows were wrong. Everyone was sure it was going to be you.
Dan (smiling)
Really. It’s fine. (He stands up.) Anyone want another drink? Isaac?
Isaac
Scotch.
Dan
You got it.
(Dan stands up and goes to the bar. Rebecca starts to stand, but Casey catches her arm and she sits. He follows Dan to the bar.)
Casey
I’m sorry.
(Dan takes a shot from the bartender and hands it to Casey and orders another one. He also gets two beers. They take the shot together and sip their beers.)
Dan
It really is fine. You didn’t do anything.
Casey
I made you write a speech. I made a big deal. You wanted to keep it low key and I got you excited—
Dan
I invited her. (Casey looks at him) Rebecca. I invited her tonight.
Casey
When?
Dan
She called back. I-I invited her.
Casey
And you made her meet you here?
Dan (smiling)
She had to meet me here anyway. It just made it easier…
(Natalie stares after Jeremy as he walks toward the stage)
(Dan and Casey return to the table in time to shake hands with Jeremy as he goes onstage to receive his award.)
Dan (squeezes Kim’s shoulders briefly and kisses her head before sitting back down)
How are we doing?
Kim
I lost, but I’m still up overall, so I’m doing OK.
Dana
I’m grabbing a drink.
Casey
I’ll go with you.
(They walk over to the bar, but don’t order anything yet.)
Casey
What’s going on with you?
Dana (shrugs)
Nothing.
Casey
Really?
Dana
Really.
Casey
Really?
Dana
Honest to god, Casey is this gonna go on much longer?
Casey
The whole thing with CSC. You’re nervous they don’t want to sign, you think they’re dragging their feet on purpose…it almost seems like you want there to be some problem with this.
Dana
Of course I don’t want there to be a problem! I’m just pretty sure there is one and I’m just looking out for the show.
Casey
So you’d be fine if there was no problem?
Dana
Fine? I’d be thrilled!
Casey (looks at her)
Really?
Dana
Casey!
Casey
Good. Because my publicist called backstage. CSC is releasing a statement in the morning. They finalized the papers. We’re officially sold.
Dana (she is visibly shocked and doesn’t look happy)
We are?
Casey
Yeah.
Dana (quietly)
Really?
Casey (smiling)
Yeah.
Dana (nodding)
Well, OK, then. Let’s see what happens next.
(As she says that Casey realizes Dan’s category is up next and walks back to the table. Dana turns to order a glass of wine)
Dana (quietly and to herself)
Let’s see what happens next.
(Casey gets back to the table and Dana is a few steps behind him)
Casey (to Dan)
This is it. This is you.
(The table gets quiet and Rebecca holds Dan’s hand)
Announcer
The next award tonight is for Sports Television Personality of the Year. And the nominees are: Tom Mooring of Fox Sports. Dan Rydell of Sports Night. Ted Mueson of Fox Sports. And Terry Weeler of Sports Center. And the award goes to…Terry Weeler of Sports Center.
(Dan recovers first and claps politely. The rest of the table applauds quietly, but everyone is visibly stunned. Dan finishes his drink as Terry Weeler gives an acceptance speech. Rebecca rubs Dan’s arm affectionately.)
Casey
Danny—
Dan
It’s fine.
Dana
I can’t believe that many shows were wrong. Everyone was sure it was going to be you.
Dan (smiling)
Really. It’s fine. (He stands up.) Anyone want another drink? Isaac?
Isaac
Scotch.
Dan
You got it.
(Dan stands up and goes to the bar. Rebecca starts to stand, but Casey catches her arm and she sits. He follows Dan to the bar.)
Casey
I’m sorry.
(Dan takes a shot from the bartender and hands it to Casey and orders another one. He also gets two beers. They take the shot together and sip their beers.)
Dan
It really is fine. You didn’t do anything.
Casey
I made you write a speech. I made a big deal. You wanted to keep it low key and I got you excited—
Dan
I invited her. (Casey looks at him) Rebecca. I invited her tonight.
Casey
When?
Dan
She called back. I-I invited her.
Casey
And you made her meet you here?
Dan (smiling)
She had to meet me here anyway. It just made it easier…
Casey
To not tell anyone?
Dan (he smiles and shrugs)
I was excited. I didn’t want everyone to know how much but…(he smiles and nods) I was excited.
Casey
This sucks.
Dan
It really is fine.
Casey
Maybe for you. I lost $100 on that.
Dan (smiling)
You see? Hubris.
Casey
I’ve seriously had it up to here with the Greeks.
Dan
Let’s go back. (He orders a scotch from the bartender.)
Casey
Let’s go home. Let’s get out of here.
Dan
There’s like, 30 minutes left.
Casey
Yeah, but still. Come on.
Dan
They haven’t announced your award yet.
Casey
I don’t care about that.
Dan
I know. (A beat) But I do.
Casey (raises his beer to Dan)
Thanks.
Dan
Well, not so much for you as I have money riding on it.
Casey (smiles at Dan)
Oh, well, in that case.
(They walk back to the table. Dan hands Isaac his drink and Rebecca takes his hand again. Dana is walking back from the stage holding the award for Sports Show of the Year.)
(Casey whistles loudly and Dan begins clapping)
Dan
Oh my god! (He grabs Dana and kisses her cheek. Dana looks distracted, but smiles and looks excited when Dan grabs her. Casey watches Dana’s face, but says nothing.)
Casey
So how much longer is this thing?
Natalie
There’s the Howard Cosell/Mohammad Ali lifetime thing and then Anchor of the Year. That’s it.
Jeremy
I thought they filmed the lifetime thing earlier.
Natalie
I thought I saw Cosell’s family here. I’m pretty sure it’s live. But maybe I’m wrong. (She looks around)
Jeremy (smiling)
Wouldn’t be the first time tonight.
Natalie
Not letting this go anytime soon, are you honey?
Jeremy
Not a chance.
Kim (checking the pool sheet)
Well, Dana was the big winner tonight.
Dana
What did I tell you? Loyalty.
Isaac
I just got off the phone with Elliot—he said the show went very well.
Natalie (to Dana)
I told you she’d be fine.
Dana
Yeah, I’ll be the judge of that.
Casey
When are you going to let her off the hook?
Dana
You lack a bit of credibility when it comes to this, Casey.
Casey
Just because I slept with her? That doesn’t have to affect my abilities to assess her professional skills—look at Natalie and Jeremy.
Natalie (nudging Casey)
Oh I was hoping we’d keep bringing that up.
Rebecca
You guys really do just have your own fun, don’t you?
Dan (grinning at the table)
We really do.
Kim
OK, so we’re pretty much out of categories…I’ve got twenty that says there are more white limos outside than black ones. Who’s in?
Dana
You seriously need help.
Casey
Oh and you’re one to talk. First year in college she actually tried to bet on—
Dana
And I thought we agreed we were going to stop telling this story.
Natalie
Well, I’m already down. I’ll pay twenty-five bucks to hear the story.
Kim
Make it fifty!
(Everyone at the table begins laughing, raising the bet, and chiding Dana, until Isaac raises his voice to get everyone’s attention.)
Isaac (grinning proudly)
Danny! (Everyone turns to look at Isaac) I think that young man would like you to go up there and stand next to him.
(Everyone looks up and realizes all at once the commercial break is over and the Mohammad Ali/Howard Cosell segment had been filmed earlier. The show is almost over and they had talked through Sports Anchor of the Year being named. The rest of the room is applauding and the cameras are on Dan.)
(Casey looks surprised and then begins clapping proudly and genuinely. Casey grins and stands up and so does everyone else at their table.)
(Rebecca kisses Dan’s cheek and Casey grabs him and hugs him. They shake hands grinning at each other happily for a moment. )
Casey (leans forward and says into Dan’s ear)
You can thank Rebecca first if you want.
Dan (without hesitating)
Not a chance.
(Dan walks on stage as Sports Night’s table continues clapping loudly and cheering. As he passes Isaac they hit fists slyly. Dan walks up to the microphone.)
Dan
You’re all in luck—the night is over and I’m a firm believer that the best speeches are the shortest!
(Everyone laughs and Dan begins his thank-yous)
(Fade out)
To not tell anyone?
Dan (he smiles and shrugs)
I was excited. I didn’t want everyone to know how much but…(he smiles and nods) I was excited.
Casey
This sucks.
Dan
It really is fine.
Casey
Maybe for you. I lost $100 on that.
Dan (smiling)
You see? Hubris.
Casey
I’ve seriously had it up to here with the Greeks.
Dan
Let’s go back. (He orders a scotch from the bartender.)
Casey
Let’s go home. Let’s get out of here.
Dan
There’s like, 30 minutes left.
Casey
Yeah, but still. Come on.
Dan
They haven’t announced your award yet.
Casey
I don’t care about that.
Dan
I know. (A beat) But I do.
Casey (raises his beer to Dan)
Thanks.
Dan
Well, not so much for you as I have money riding on it.
Casey (smiles at Dan)
Oh, well, in that case.
(They walk back to the table. Dan hands Isaac his drink and Rebecca takes his hand again. Dana is walking back from the stage holding the award for Sports Show of the Year.)
(Casey whistles loudly and Dan begins clapping)
Dan
Oh my god! (He grabs Dana and kisses her cheek. Dana looks distracted, but smiles and looks excited when Dan grabs her. Casey watches Dana’s face, but says nothing.)
Casey
So how much longer is this thing?
Natalie
There’s the Howard Cosell/Mohammad Ali lifetime thing and then Anchor of the Year. That’s it.
Jeremy
I thought they filmed the lifetime thing earlier.
Natalie
I thought I saw Cosell’s family here. I’m pretty sure it’s live. But maybe I’m wrong. (She looks around)
Jeremy (smiling)
Wouldn’t be the first time tonight.
Natalie
Not letting this go anytime soon, are you honey?
Jeremy
Not a chance.
Kim (checking the pool sheet)
Well, Dana was the big winner tonight.
Dana
What did I tell you? Loyalty.
Isaac
I just got off the phone with Elliot—he said the show went very well.
Natalie (to Dana)
I told you she’d be fine.
Dana
Yeah, I’ll be the judge of that.
Casey
When are you going to let her off the hook?
Dana
You lack a bit of credibility when it comes to this, Casey.
Casey
Just because I slept with her? That doesn’t have to affect my abilities to assess her professional skills—look at Natalie and Jeremy.
Natalie (nudging Casey)
Oh I was hoping we’d keep bringing that up.
Rebecca
You guys really do just have your own fun, don’t you?
Dan (grinning at the table)
We really do.
Kim
OK, so we’re pretty much out of categories…I’ve got twenty that says there are more white limos outside than black ones. Who’s in?
Dana
You seriously need help.
Casey
Oh and you’re one to talk. First year in college she actually tried to bet on—
Dana
And I thought we agreed we were going to stop telling this story.
Natalie
Well, I’m already down. I’ll pay twenty-five bucks to hear the story.
Kim
Make it fifty!
(Everyone at the table begins laughing, raising the bet, and chiding Dana, until Isaac raises his voice to get everyone’s attention.)
Isaac (grinning proudly)
Danny! (Everyone turns to look at Isaac) I think that young man would like you to go up there and stand next to him.
(Everyone looks up and realizes all at once the commercial break is over and the Mohammad Ali/Howard Cosell segment had been filmed earlier. The show is almost over and they had talked through Sports Anchor of the Year being named. The rest of the room is applauding and the cameras are on Dan.)
(Casey looks surprised and then begins clapping proudly and genuinely. Casey grins and stands up and so does everyone else at their table.)
(Rebecca kisses Dan’s cheek and Casey grabs him and hugs him. They shake hands grinning at each other happily for a moment. )
Casey (leans forward and says into Dan’s ear)
You can thank Rebecca first if you want.
Dan (without hesitating)
Not a chance.
(Dan walks on stage as Sports Night’s table continues clapping loudly and cheering. As he passes Isaac they hit fists slyly. Dan walks up to the microphone.)
Dan
You’re all in luck—the night is over and I’m a firm believer that the best speeches are the shortest!
(Everyone laughs and Dan begins his thank-yous)
(Fade out)
